everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
