Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there was a trapeze. enough said
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
