I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize