When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
