I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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