Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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