I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
