covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
