Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
