She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
