so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
