me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
