Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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