So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I touched a dick in church today
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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