How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
