Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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