He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
