u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
