it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
