And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
