WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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