yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
