You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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