What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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