This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
