hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize