so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
