it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
