Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
