So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
