Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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