So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
