Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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