No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize