He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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