So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
