Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
