i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
