Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
