its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
