When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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