I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
