sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
