Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
