how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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