The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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