Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This house was built for laser tag.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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