So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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