either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
