it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
