i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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