You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
