I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
