Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
