Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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