I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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