Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
