is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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